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FROM SHAME TO EMPOWERMENT

This is a story for those who have been shamed for being "too skinny", for having short hair, stretch marks, or for being flat chested, for their postpartum body, those who have struggled with body dysmorphia or those who want to free the nipple, it is a story for those that have had ENOUGH. I am thrilled to be sharing these experiences and hope to reach others with their powerful messages. As these brave women came forward and surrendered their most vulnerable selves I realized no matter how we look, no matter what our body types are, we all have experienced body shaming in one way or another. This degradation and humiliation may derive from social media, from the people surrounding us, even from ourselves, and the toxic expectation women are held to is at an impossible reach. Women must embrace themselves and each other, and the world must stop the shame, the scrutiny, the expectations and the hate.

“On Halloween, I dressed in this white tank top and jeans as part of my costume. My boyfriend posted a picture of the two of us on Instagram and his coworker had the audacity to comment ‘You let your girl go out like that? Lol.’ People are afraid of nipples like they’re shameful, but really they’re just another part of every human body.”

 

(Participant A).

“Since the age of 12 years old I’ve battled body dysmorphia. I over exercised, I took diet pills, I starved myself, I shamed myself. I hated that when I sat down there were rolls of skin, I just wanted a flat stomach like the glamorous Hollywood stars I saw on TV. I’m learning that no matter how you look or how much you weigh, excess skin is normal.”

 

(Participant A).

“I went through puberty when I was 10 years old. My body transformed from a child’s body to a teenage body in such a short amount of time that I was covered in stretch marks all over my legs and butt. I didn’t know what they were or why I had them. I hated myself, I wouldn’t even look at myself, I wanted to cut my skin off just to see what it would look like without them.”

 

(Participant A).

“I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a child, and as a result have always had terrible posture. I tried to straighten my back but it would ache and put me in a constant state of discomfort. My uncle approached me on day and told me ‘stand up straight, no man is attracted to a girl who slouches.’”

 

(Participant A).

"In high school after I cut my hair short my boyfriend I'd been dating for about three months just completely stopped talking to me. I found out later that he broke up with me because I cut my hair into a pixie."

 

(Participant B).

“I like the freedom of not wearing a bra, they’re so uncomfortable, but I feel like I have to because of the looks people give me. I just feel judged all the time if I don’t.”

 

(Participant C).

“One day at work I bent over to pick something up and a doctor I work for walked up to me and told me ‘you look good when you bend over.’ I felt so objectified, harassed and embarrassed. I felt like I couldn’t do anything that might seem even the slightest bit provocative at work.”

 

(Participant C).

“I hate that I let myself put on weight, I hate my stretch marks on my stomach, but I’m working on myself one day at a time. And I hope that I can reach someone who might be feeling the same way as me, and let them know that it’s okay, and that they’re not the only person in the world who feels this way.”

 

(Participant C).

“The minute I turned 18 years old I wanted to get a boob job, I hated the way I looked. I kept telling myself every year that this was the year, but now I’m so glad I didn’t because I’m learning to embrace my body for the way that it is.”

 

(Participant D).

“I’ve always felt that I have a masculine build because I have so much muscle in my back and a wider frame, instead of a small waist and curves in all the right places. But as I learn to live a healthy lifestyle and exercise I’m so grateful I can put on muscle and become stronger every day.”

 

(Participant D).

“I’ve always been so overly critical of my body because I felt that it was so disproportionate. My legs are so strong and tall that it makes my torso look short and stubby. It’s one of my biggest insecurities even though it seems so silly.”

 

(Participant D).

"The biggest thing about my body is how unrealistic expectations are on social media, how unrealistic it is to have your body look the way it did before you have kids, after you have kids.

 

(Participant E).

"The expectation to look "perfectly fit" is near impossible if you don't make it all you think about or do every day. It's just not realistic when you own and business and have kids like I do."

 

(Participant E).

"'She's probably the flattest girl who works here'-said by a coworker to my friend about my breast size at work."

 

(Participant F).

"Why am I responsible for every man's sexual thoughts and actions? Why not only my own? I am so out of tune with out my own sexual wants and needs because I've been told that I can only worry about what men are thinking and feeling, not what I am thinking and feeling. I feel shameful for acknowledging my sexual thoughts and desires before I realize that it's what makes me human and IT'S FUCKING OKAY."

 

(Participant F).

"Why am I responsible for every man's sexual thoughts and actions? Why not only my own? I am so out of tune with out my own sexual wants and needs because I've been told that I can only worry about what men are thinking and feeling, not what I am thinking and feeling. I feel shameful for acknowledging my sexual thoughts and desires before I realize that it's what makes me human and IT'S FUCKING OKAY."

 

(Participant F).

"I'm constantly told I'm too skinny or simply commented to on my body's shape. My shape which I have ZERO control over. Both of my parents are as skinny as me and I don't think that's something that will ever change."

 

(Participant F).

"I hate my skin, I've got little bumps all over and people always ask if I'm cold, but it's just my skin. I call it my chicken skin because I'm so self conscious of it because all my friends and family have smooth skin and my entire body is textured."

 

(Participant G).

“I hate my legs, I hate looking in the mirror right now and seeing what I see, but that’s why we’re doing this; we’re doing this to feel empowered by our insecurities and not tear ourselves down anymore.”

 

(Participant G).

“My boyfriend and I got in a fight about taking these pictures. He made me feel like a slut instead of empowered. He made me feel like sharing my insecurities is shameful instead of courageous. It just solidified to me how important this truly is, that is why we’re doing this.”

 

(Participant G).

REFERENCES

Participant A. Interview. 1, February 2018.

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Participant B. Interview. 24, February 2018.

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Participant C. Interview. 4, February 2018.

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Participant D. Interview. 4, February 2018.

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Participant E. Interview. 18, March 2018.

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Participant F. Interview. 14, March 2018.

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Participant G. Interview. 4, February 2018.

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